She’s Gone

Mother and Daddy Wedding“Sissy, she’s gone.”  It was my sister’s voice on the cell phone.  I stood in a Hampton Inn Hotel room outside Dallas, Texas.  Joanie and I had just talked moments before.  Our mother’s hospice nurse had called to say her breathing had just changed and it would be good to come to her side.  They thought death might be short hours away.  My family had been by her bedside the night before and had gone home to get some rest, believing there was more time before Mother would breathe her last.

God had other plans.

In my sister’s first call, we prayed together as she quickly dressed to drive to Hospice House where Mother lay dying.  We believe she died while we were praying.  That would have been like her.  She loved prayer.

Dying alone without family may have been like her too.  When I realized she’d died without her children around her, I couldn’t help but think of all the times when her mental illness had taken her away from us.  Depression would lead to isolation and sometimes our mother would disappear — not physically, but mentally.  She would just slip away from us.  No words or touch would reconnect her to us.

It was in those times I had to remember that although her brain was broken, her spirit was not.  She loved Jesus with a love that overflowed on her good days.  On those days if you asked her how she was she would respond “It’s a super-dooper-booper Jesus Day!”  A bit much perhaps, but my mother loved Jesus.  And Jesus loved her.

So He made her heart His home and lived her in the body even when it became more frail as her brain became more broken.  As her body shrank, so did her personality, but never her personhood — that remained fixed in Christ Jesus.  She belonged to Him and He belonged to her.   Inside the body where mental illness had taken its toll, her spirit was whole and Jesus lived there within her in unity and peace.

So when she was in a bad season and we couldn’t seem to break through, I reminded myself that Jesus was taking care of her on the inside where likewise, we could not go.  It was a place where it was just the two of them — my mother and her Kind Savior Jesus.

On Tuesday morning at 5:45 am in Bend, Oregon, it was once again, just the two of them.  Family was on the way to be by her side when Jesus reached out for her hand and said (something like), “Donie, it’s time now.  You have loved me through tumult and torment and I have chosen this moment to take you to myself.  Your mansion is ready.  Take my hand, dear child.  Walk with Me.  The way is short and glory waits.”   And the two of them, the old woman and her Jesus, walked into heaven hand-in-hand.

She’s gone, my mother.  And when I see her again someday she will be a woman I have never met.  She’ll be free and well and whole and peaceful.  And my mother will be truly beautiful as the light of Christ’s presence casts its stunning rays across her lovely countenance.  If one can be proud in heaven, I suspect that in that moment I will be proud she was my Mother.

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9 Comments Leave a comment

  1. Dearest Rev Cathie, I am so glad your mother is now at peace home with Jesus. But, it is never easy to lose your mother, so I send to you and your family my prayers for peace, healing and a new and deeper love for one another as you go through this difficult time together.
    All my love,
    Carolyn McL

  2. Beautiful!

    Thank you and God Bless, Gale

    “The Lord bless and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace” – Numbers 6:24-26

  3. Cathie thank-you for that beautiful picture you painted of your mom’s passing. What a wonderful tribute to her and Jesus. It brings to mind memories of my own mother. Thoughts and prayers go to you and prince Phillip and your family. Katie

  4. Beautiful tribute to your Mom. Our hearts go out to you and your family. We know your faith will get you through this difficult time. With love and prayers.
    Mimi and Mike

  5. As always, beautifully written. This tribute letter along with your miracle letter have touched me deeply. Thank you to God for giving you this beautiful gift. We love you and our prayers are with you and Philip always.

  6. Beautiful. Your words, “when I see her again someday she will be a woman I have never met”, resonates with me, personally, with regard to my own mother.
    Blessings to you and your family.

  7. Wonderful teaching tribute to your Mom.
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, they honor your Mom,
    her love of Jesus and the friends you are kind enough to share with!

    God’s Blessing on you and your family.

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